He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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