Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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