I wish life had little blips of pornography
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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