There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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