I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Randomize
