Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i was born a porn star she said
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Church boner. Awkwardddd
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
