It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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