..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
pop tarts are not kleenex
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
