yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
