I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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