I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
