end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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