My first STD was from a foam party
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
