wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
