Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
