Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i've created a new STD.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
