D3 body, D1 cock
Its about making memories worth repressing
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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