My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Your penis caused this!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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