I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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