Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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