I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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