all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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