you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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