my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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