I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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