Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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