Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
