She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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