dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
home. puking in laundry basket.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
