umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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