Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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