So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
