I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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