I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
