marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
