in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
