A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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