No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
