I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
