She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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