i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
being pregnant is like rehab
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
