I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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