piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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