let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
