This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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