i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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