Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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