you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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