i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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