he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
