I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
