I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Randomize
