The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
