i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
