I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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