He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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