id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
