Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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